Saturday Night Rant — Straight Drunk

The Saturday Night Rant is back again and this time it takes another dive in to my personal experiences with men, however straight, drunk, confused, or otherwise difficult.

 

Straight

Drunk

 

 

So we threw a surprise party for my friend Ally. We met up at Jazz’s place and got everything set up, all the booze in the fridge and then planned out the surprises and tried to get everything done before she showed up. All went according to plan, three seperate “SURPRISE!!” Moments, three separate “OH MY GOD!”s from Ally.

The night went pretty normally. There wasn’t really a whole lot that seemed out of place throughout the evening. I’d decided not to drink that evening as it was really hot out and I just didn’t feel like being drunk, hot, sticky, and uncomfortable in Jazz’s basement. Instead I was just hot, sticky, and uncomfortable in Jazz’s basement. 

Anyway, on to the purpose of tonight’s rant. ****, a friend of mine (who’s going to remain nameless), is a bit of a lightweight drinking. Boy can’t handle his booze. After only a couple of beer, he was getting pretty tipsy and after a couple more, the boy was smashed. 

The only sober people there were Ally, she doesn’t drink, BJ, she was DDing, and myself, reason above. Since I knew my friend BJ had dealt with a lot of drunk!**** before, I decided to take the burden and deal with him while he’s smashed. I took the beer away, handed it off to someone else who could handle it and continued to keep him away from booze and not depressed. 

**** complained of feeling tired and wanted to go lie down in a little off room from the main basement. I told him it wasn’t such a good idea as Jazz had asked people please stay out of the room and only go in if they needed to get their booze from the fridge. **** didn’t have booze in the fridge and shouldn’t be going after other people’s booze. 

I took a large pillow out of another room and settled it on the floor in a quiet corner for ****. I kept an eye on him as the party continued and saw him pass out on the pillow. So I picked him up and asked Jazz if I could move him to her bed. She gave me the go ahead and I took him in. I settled him down on his side so he couldn’t choke on his own tongue and got a bucket in case he was going to wretch. 

Now, I’m not too sure what happened next. I had several different people coming to check on him and had to tell them that it was fine, I would take care of him. Drunks never listen the first time, though. Anyway, I had sat down on the bed beside him to keep an eye on him and he had woken up again while I was telling the rest of the people there to head back to the party. 

He laid there for a few moments, chest heaving a little with what I can only assume were silent sobs. I felt a little awkward just kind of sitting there while he had a freak out. A drunk freak out at that. So I put a hand on his shoulder and asked if he was okay. He nodded a little and I told him he was lying. 

Out of no where he latches on to me for dear life, mumbling about his drunk fears, going on about how these people are mad at him and he loves his ex still but she doesn’t like him anymore. Typical straight guy talk while drunk. I assured him it would be okay and rubbed his back as he sniffled and cried in to my shoulder. 

Everything seemed like a normal emotional drunk until I felt him move a bit. Suddenly there were lips on my neck. Then teeth. Oh boy… The Straight boy is drunk and thinks that exploring his sexuality with the gay boy is a good idea.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a while since I’ve had some action. I don’t live in the gay-friendliest of cities. So it’s a bit tough to get some action when your city is stuck in the 50’s attitude. So part of my desperately wants to go with this. 

But I can’t. I just can’t. He’s drunk, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’ll regret it tomorrow. Plus what do I say if the other people come to check on him again? “Oh, sorry guys, forgot to tell you, I’m fucking **** in here!” Doesn’t sound too good. 

So I told him that I’m not going to do anything with him right then because he’s upset, he’s drunk, and he would likely regret it come the morning. He groans and shakes his head and keeps nipping at me. So I pushed him gently off of me and laid him down again and repeated what I’d said. He grumbled and asked for some water. 

I got him his water. He drank it and said he felt better and wanted to go back out to the party. I told him I’d let him go if he promised not to drink anything more. So he agreed and we went back out. He sat down for a bit, used the bathroom, and then told us that he had phoned for a ride and was leaving. People said their goodbyes, but BJ and I knew something was up. 

We followed him out and, sure enough, we found him two blocks down, wandering around. I hadn’t told BJ what had happened in the bedroom. I didn’t know if I wanted him to remember or be reminded of it the next day. After some serious convincing and a threat to pick him up and force him in to the car, we got him to agree to get a ride home. 

We drove him across the city and BJ attempted to ask him what he was so upset about. I didn’t know if it was me or not though I have sincere doubts it was me. He seems to have been acting like this for the past little while now. He didn’t give her much in the way of an answer and went inside. We stuck around ot make sure he would stay there and not run off somewhere. 

We discussed a few things about **** on the way back to the party and once we got there, the whole thing dropped. 

So, after all this, I’m left really fucking confused. What was the advance supposed to mean? I’ve, admittedly, thought about me and **** before and I dunno what I think about it. But, still, it’s helped add to my confusion with this. 

I’m going to chalk it up to him being upset and seeking comfort. Though I wouldn’t be adverse to some advice from the ladies out there that know how straight men operate. 

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One Response to “Saturday Night Rant — Straight Drunk”

  1. Holy.

    Holy crap.

    If it wasn’t 1:30 in the morning right now I would be on the phone with you. WHAT THE HELL. Homg. We must converse.

    PS Lol @ the picture

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